Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Self Destruct

This marks the end of

It has been an exciting journey of sorts.

Rest assured,the blogger is still hanging around.

Only that the thoughts and feelings will reside elsewhere in cyberspace.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Another day...

"You have a lot of questions for God.Don't be afraid to ask God,sister..."

I can still hear those words ringing in my ears,long after I left the church altar.

The tears have since dried and my raging emotions have found peace and solace by the comfort of God's words.

Dear God,

As I lay down my desires and questions before You, during this week of prayer and fasting,I pray for wisdom.For forgiveness.For peace.And most of all, the strength to face another day...


Sunday, March 26, 2006


I stared at the mug shot of him for the umpteenth time before I tore my eyes away.The shot of him smiling was just too much to stomach.It was as though he was mocking me.Teasing me.Silently screaming "I told you so" again and again.

How could I have been so foolish?

As I read all the letters he wrote and rehash all the conversations I had with him,I realised just how little I know about him.There was no mention about his family,even little still; his life.He was eerily quiet and silent,while I wrote furiously about my life,my dreams, my goals.

At first,I thought he was being gentle.Polite even by apologising profusely.Never probing further about my life.But instead, encouraging me and allowing me to express myself at will. By the time I realised and understood what was happening, it was too late.The cracks were just too large to ignore.

I realised then, as I realised now,just how different we were.

We were 2 different individuals standing at the crossroads of life.Perhaps, we met because we were both searching for that something which we thought we could find in each other.

But we never found what we were searching for.

I stood at the crossroads for the longest time.I wondered if...if I should move on or stay.

The traffic lights turned green,blinking profusely, as though beckoning us to continue on our journey.As I took one last look at him, I remember whispering a gentle "goodbye" as tears flooded my eyes.With one swift move,I mustered enough courage and took the step of faith to the unknown...

I saw him turning off the street at the opposite direction from the corner of my eye and I knew then...that this would be our final goodbye...

Love that never was

What was I thinking?

Did I ever really thought things would work out?Why did I put my precious heart out in the open only to be ripped apart by you?

I wasn't thinking,I know.I followed my heart.I did what I thought was right.I took the chance.I wanted to be honest.I wanted to be free to be "me".But I'm sorry if you didn't felt the same way.I'm sorry I didn't match up to your ideals.I'm sorry because I can only be "me"....

To my friends, thank you for encouraging me to take the plunge,eventhough things never work out for me.I'm happy it worked for the both of you and I'm happy you found what you were both looking for.Eventhough I came out a loser,but I'm glad you all came out a winner.

I'm glad God,You showed me patience.You showed me mercy.You spared me from further sufferings.You lick my open wounds and mend my broken heart.

Maybe someday you will show me the path to him...

Maybe someday...


Saturday, March 25, 2006

A shoutout

This is a special encouragement post for a fellow blogger,Getting There.

Hi Getting There,

I may not exactly understand the extent of your trouble or what you are going through at this point in time,but do remember true strength is how high you bounce back up every time you fall.

I wish you all the best and hope you will keep hanging in there...

PS:If you are reading this,you may want to look at your comment moderation box.I think my comments are getting mouldy in there

A disease

I've been plagued with a disease.The blogging block disease.I could not understand why my interest in blogging have wane or reduced to nothingness.But I shall endeavour and press on in my journey.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Resolution for 2006

It's better late than never,so here is my resolution for 2006
  • Be punctual
  • Be disciplined
  • Be time conscious
  • Be in control of my emotions
  • Eat healthily
  • Exercise
  • Lose 2kg of weight
  • Learn guitar
  • Read more
  • Start a functional relationship


Time flies they say.In the blink of an eye,exams started and ended.Holidays came and went.Festivities flew by and the joys subsided.What remains are the essence of memories; of a time gone by...

Friday, January 06, 2006

Bad spell

2006 kicked off with not so big a bang as anticipated.

I started off this week with a burnt tongue as a result of over excitement over the arrival of my cheese baked rice at a restaurant.

Verdict: Ended up with 3 packets of coloured pills I don't need and RM25 poorer.

Being enthusiastic over the impending arrival of the festive season,I decided to get my hair done.Unfortunately it became too well done.I walked in with virgin hair and walked out looking like a bomb had just exploded on my head.So much for the festive cheer.

Verdict:Ended up with hair as dry as the bathroom brush and RM118 poorer.

In a desperate bid to ward off the string of bad spells,I decided to do some good works.I gave my friends a lift home and accidentally hit the bum of another car.

Verdict:Ended up with unsightly peel on the body of my car and RM0 wasted.I was gone with the wind before the owner comes a calling.

Now was that supposed to be good or bad?

Thursday, January 05, 2006


Happy New Year!!!

Blogging transmission is currently suspended till end of January.In the mean time,let's toast to a year of wealth,health and prosperity.