I stared at the mug shot of him for the umpteenth time before I tore my eyes away.The shot of him smiling was just too much to stomach.It was as though he was mocking me.Teasing me.Silently screaming "I told you so" again and again.
How could I have been so foolish?
As I read all the letters he wrote and rehash all the conversations I had with him,I realised just how little I know about him.There was no mention about his family,even little still; his life.He was eerily quiet and silent,while I wrote furiously about my life,my dreams, my goals.
At first,I thought he was being gentle.Polite even by apologising profusely.Never probing further about my life.But instead, encouraging me and allowing me to express myself at will. By the time I realised and understood what was happening, it was too late.The cracks were just too large to ignore.
I realised then, as I realised now,just how different we were.
We were 2 different individuals standing at the crossroads of life.Perhaps, we met because we were both searching for that something
which we thought we could find in each other.
But we never
found what we were searching for.
I stood at the crossroads for the longest time.I wondered if...if I should move on or stay.
The traffic lights turned green,blinking profusely, as though beckoning us to continue on our journey.As I took one last look at him, I remember whispering a gentle "goodbye" as tears flooded my eyes.With one swift move,I mustered enough courage and took the step of faith to the unknown...
I saw him turning off the street at the opposite direction from the corner of my eye and I knew then...that this would be our final goodbye...